I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize