apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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