I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
