I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
