Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
