is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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