somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
whose ass print is on the piano?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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