You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
