hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He better not be in your backpack
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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