So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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