God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
