wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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