So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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