Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
