I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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