My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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