Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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