Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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