i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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