i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize