Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
