You're earring is so big in my mouth
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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