He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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