i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
