oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
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