It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
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I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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