I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize