the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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