She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize