We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
