We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
