my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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