Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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