just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
