would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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