I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just made my gag reflex go away.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
