In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
