Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
