Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
