ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
