Porn is love you can see.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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