it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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