I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
