Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
