I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
