Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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