How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
