nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
