it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
