The maid of honor just puked.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
