its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
