It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
