it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
