I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goatâ€
Randomize
