she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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