last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
