i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
