Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
