Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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