fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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