would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
