THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
