Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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