My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
