when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
