i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
